Wednesday, June 24, 2009

How Honest Are You With Yourself?

By Ron Balagot

"Being entirely honest with oneself is a good exercise." - Sigmund Freud
Have you ever asked yourself this question: "How Honest Are You With Yourself?"

Why is it so important to ask yourself this question? Because it could mean the difference between reaching your dreams and simply going around in circles (or always being confused why you're not getting anywhere). It could also mean the difference between getting what you "really" want and getting what "you only think" you want (meaning, you only think you want it, because deep down inside, others want it for you, and you want to please them).

If you think about it, if you're not completely honest with yourself in certain areas of life, you will not have the power (or will not be in the position) to change what's holding you back from success in those areas. Basically, if you don't admit to yourself that you're living a lie, you'll continue to live a lie. If you continue to deny the fact that you're being dishonest with yourself, you will not have the power to change the things that need to be changed.

On the other hand, the moment you become more honest with yourself, things will start to change. Positive things will start to happen. And it's because you will all of a sudden have the power to change things. Besides, not being your "true self," as well as pretending that you like doing certain things even when you don't, are tiring. Living a lie simply drains a lot of energy from you.

Could you please do me a favor and try a little exercise? Take a moment to answer the following questions and see how honest you are with your answers. In fact, after every question, ask yourself: "Am I being completely honest with myself about this?"
  1. Is the career you pursued what you really wanted to pursue? (Or, did you only go in that direction because certain people in your life expected/wanted you to go in that direction and you didn't want to disappoint them?)
  2. Can you honestly say that what you're doing in your life right now is what you know will bring you a great sense of fulfillment? (Or, were your decisions the ones that led to your present condition... influenced by what certain people will say? By how certain people - whose approval you seek - will react?)
  3. Are you honestly taking the types of actions that will bring you closer to your goals? (Or, are you just keeping busy with non-productive activities so you can say to yourself and others that you're actually doing something?)
  4. Are you saying YES to requests from certain people because that's what you really want to say? (Or, are you saying yes because you're too afraid to say NO for fear of losing the approval of those people? Or, are you also saying yes because it will allow you to procrastinate... to delay what you know you should be working on?)

Now, those are only a few questions but I'm sure you can come up with a lot more questions of your own. So, how did you "feel" about your answers? Did it feel like you were truly being honest with yourself? Like every fiber of your being was saying YES (without any opposing thoughts)? Or did you have that feeling in your gut telling you that you weren't being completely honest (where you could hear a tiny voice inside shouting out "LIAR!")?

You see, when you're not being true to yourself, something inside you doesn't feel right. And this affects many areas of your life in a negative way. You feel confused a lot of the times. You tend to procrastinate a lot (and tend to find ways to justify your behavior). You lack that sense of fulfillment you so desperately want. And more.

However, when you're honest with yourself, you tend to be more decisive. You feel more motivated to take action. You think more clearly. And you feel fulfilled in general (since you are more at peace with yourself... and are doing what you are supposed to be doing).

As you can see, your progress - and ultimately, your success - will be highly dependent on your ability to remain honest with yourself. I challenge you to take a closer look at your life and see which areas you are truly being honest in... and which areas you need to work on. Then act accordingly.

Contributed By:
Prof. D. P. Chattopadhyay
(Globsyn Business School)

Source: Trans4mind

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Two People Who Love Each Other

By Gary Bate

They are two people who choose to come together to share minds and thus realities: to enrich their experiences of life.
They are mindful in their relationship and find reasons to come together rather than excuses to be apart.
They are clean, meaning they are not dragging any 'old partners' around with them. They realise that everyone else in their lives are only there because they want them to be there; otherwise they would be a distant memory.
They take responsibility for themselves, individually, and care for each other: leaving behind any compromises for financial advantage.
They live for their own truth and thus are not concerned by the opinions of others.
They have a sharing attitude - 'what's mine is yours'.
They never use or abuse each other but only give to one another.
They constantly move forward in their lives, individually and together.
They trust each other because they are brutally honest with each other.
They help each other grow and encourage each other, delighting in each other's achievements.
They work at letting go of controlling one another in favour of loving one another.
They view lovemaking as the natural extension of the ecstasy they experience from sharing on all levels rather than the reason for the relationship itself.
They value their intimacy and keep it sacred, excluding all others.
They know that when one can genuinely forgive then one can always find love whether for the other or for self.
They are flexible and tolerant because they understand that becoming absolutely truthful is a journey that doesn't 'just happen' overnight.
They are two people who love each other.

Contributed By:
Prof. Debaprasad Chattopadhyay
(Globsyn Business School)

(Excerpts from an e-magazine: trans4mind)

Thursday, June 4, 2009

The Law of the Garbage Truck

One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport.

We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches! The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy; and I mean, he was really friendly.

So I asked, 'Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!' This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call, 'The Law of the Garbage Truck.' He explained that many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they'll dump it on you. Don't take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. Don't take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the streets.

The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks take over their day. Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so...... 'Love the people who treat you right. Pray for the ones who don't.'

Life is ten percent what you make it and ninety percent how you take it.

Contributed By:
Debasree Chattopadhyay
(HR Executive, Kotak Securities Limited)